Well, I’ve survived! It has been one hell of a hectic, crazy, tiresome, tear filled, sleepless nights, mud butt filled, blur of a year. Since I was so busy attempting to plan this EPIC birthday party I had envisioned in my head, I didn’t fully get to sink into reality until I was sitting there, crying after their party. It was a bittersweet moment and a semi truck full of memories hit me at that moment. Even though the year has been hectic, I’ve loved every single moment of it because I’ve been able to do this, with the semi help of my husband, on my own and the thought of doing that years ago would have TERRIFIED me!
There have definitely been challenges in my journey of raising twins and I’m proud to say I’ve overcome those challenges by just winging it!! That’s the first piece of advice I can give a new mom of twins, just wing it and go with the flow!!! Don’t be afraid to trust your instincts, even if you’ve never had them before, your “motherly instincts” will kick in without you even realizing it. Sure, freaking out at the thought of breastfeeding twins, taking them out by yourself, how to put them to bed, how to feed them, do you change them at the same time, what’s if one wakes up the other and all the other MILLIONS of questions you have running through your mind will scare you but
Seriously, I’m not saying that to be some kind of motivational speaker, I’m telling you because I’ve done it. Having no family nearby, having a husband who I only see for 2 hours M-F and a total of 16 hours on the weekends, having friends who are 2+ hours away and really knowing no one in a new town, I’ve done it. The thoughts of it all are scarier than the actual reality. You work yourself up over what about this, or that, or what’s if this happens or that but you seldom get to just enjoy the experience.
So, here is my advice to you, pregnant twin mom or any new mom who finds themselves away from a support system.
1. Prepare as much as you can. For those pregnant with twins, I made this previous post about my personal preferences to twin necessities here.
2. Document your pregnancy with pictures. Now, nothing special, just plain old weekly pictures of your growing belly. At that moment you may not feel that nostalgic about pregnancy but trust me, you will look back on those pictures and cherish them. I honestly wish I had taken more weekly ones because I’m still amazed at how two fit in there!
3. Take parenting advice from BTDT (been there done that) moms with a grain of salt. Everyone’s experiences differ due to the type of person you are and what kind of baby you will have! I was lucky to have fairly easy guys but again, luck.
4. Don’t beat yourself up about your weight gain (if that’s something that bothers you). Being pregnant with twins, you’ll see the scale numbers jump to numbers you NEVER imagined possible. Yes, it’s very scary and it’s tempting to put back that piece of chocolate cake but seriously, you’re going to gain it no matter what. Granted, some don’t gain too much due to morning sickness but you’re going to gain a fair amount of weight AND it will take up to a year or more to lose all of it. I lost mine within that first month BUT it took almost a year for my body to shrink back down to size, even with moderate exercise.
5. If you have no one to lean on for support besides your husband, write it out or call family! Ok, so I’m a bit guilty of not calling my mom as much as I should have but seriously starting this blog has helped me. It’s been therapeutic and you don’t have to start a blog, write things down in a journal. It really helps to get your frustrations out there instead of holding it in.
7. Pictures, pictures, pictures. Whatever it is of them, take it, trust me.
6. TRY TO ENJOY THESE MOMENTS. I know, I know, people say it all the time, but as a freshly new mom, you don’t realize you haven’t until that year has passed.
That’s all I can think of at the moment, i’ll come and update if I do think of more since pregnancy brain has hit me hard this time around. For now, that’s what would be my top things to tell a new mom, especially one of twins.
So for their birthday party, remember that monster theme I was going for? Well, that’s, I guess, a rookie mistake I’ve made being a FTM haha, I planned to do too much and had no time to do anything really! I ran myself ragged trying to plan this Pinterest worthy birthday party, HAH! What a fool, to try to plan that while taking care of two babies and no help? Yea, that was a set up for failure kind of thing heh. I did manage to do a couple of touches but it was nowhere near what I wanted to accomplish. They didn’t seem to notice but the day went well and I was able to have some family and friends with us who have been there through this journey. Like I said, it didn’t hit me really until after everyone had left. I stood there, looking at the mess I needed to clean up, family was outside talking and Dan was inside with me while the boys were playing. I looked at them, looked at the mess, looked at Dan and just started crying. I can’t believe my babies, my babies who came 2 weeks earlier than expected, who were 6 weeks premature were finally 1. I just held Dan and cried, he asked me why I was crying and I just told him “I just can’t believe it’s been a year, a year of all this. A year I’ll never get back and I don’t feel like I got to enjoy it like I should have.”. He looks at me, touches my belly and says “Don’t worry, we’ll get to enjoy it all over again with this one!”. He said it with just the right tone and I just had to laugh, he was right. That first year was a blur, but you know what, it makes enjoying those moments that much more special because I get to appreciate them this time around, with her. Oh, did I forget to mention??
We are completely blessed to have not only healthy baby boys, but now God has blessed us with our baby girl for our last. I am THRILLED and Dan is terrified hehe. Besides that good news I’ll take you down memory lane with some pictures of the boy’s first year of life.